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ahh, perpective

  • Oct. 6th, 2009 at 8:51 AM

I've been whinging the last few days about my unhappiness but then last night happened and now I feel like a fool for letting myself slightly spiral out in the face of real pain and real suffering. 
 
Last night, Jacob got a call from his old roommate Sean who needed a ride to the animal hospital because the family dog, Tipper, had gotten hit by a car.  On the ride over to the east side, I speculated on what might be wrong with Tipper and how much damage there might be but when we picked Sean up and I asked how Tipper was doing, I was stunned to find out that Tipper had already died.  He had been pronounced dead on arrival. 
 
On the drive home, I confessed to Jacob that I, for some reason, had assumed that Tipper was going to be alright.  Perhaps there would be some internal damage or broken bones and a collapsed lung but that he would ultimately make it.  That he had died before we had been able to even drive Sean over was just unbelievable to me.
 
I've only had pets recently as an adult and because of that, all my previous pets are still alive.  I can still ask how Panda and Puddy are doing and be told funny stories about their antics.  Seeing Tipper so still on the gurney and how inconsolable Sean's dad was was beyond gut wrenching.  Jacob later said he felt like throwing up at just how visceral the grief had been. 
 
We left the three of them at the hospital and drove home holding hands and hugged Pixie and Boy when they came to meet us at the door.  


Please explain the numbers to me.

  • Jan. 15th, 2009 at 1:12 AM

Can someone explain the numbers to me?

In 2007, PETA euthanized 1815 or 1896 animals it took in (taken from the virginia.gov website). That is a euthanasia rate of over 95%. In the whole of Virginia, where PETA is headquartered, the euthanasia rate for non-PETA shelters was around 35%. This includes no-kill shelters but also open-admission shelters where animals are routinely euthanized. What is going on?

Can someone explain to me why their kill rates are so high?  Do they even try to adopt out animals?  They adopted out 17 of 1896 animals.  SEVENTEEN.  What?  Are we being duped?  Or can this be explained?

Drama, Grade A

  • Jan. 6th, 2009 at 7:30 PM

I hope everyone is having fun at the Meetup.  I wanted to miss some of the drama so I didn't attend last month but I'm going to miss tonight's as well due to "I-miss-my-bf-who-lives-in-MKE.-I-know,-I'll-visit-him!".

sigh

  • Jan. 6th, 2009 at 8:41 AM

Merlin got adopted out from under me.  There was another application in for him and so he went to the other application.  Oh wells.  I'll find my puppy soul mate one day.

Last night, I applied to five or six different dog walking companies.  Hopefully, I'll get hired by one of them since I need a part time day time job that doesn't involve dressing up in any way.  And the perks of being outside everyday and with a dog pretty much rocks. :)

I need to sleep!

  • Jan. 4th, 2009 at 3:09 AM

but I'm up because I took a stupid nap from 9ish to 11ish.  Doh!  I'm going to attempt to get to sleep shortly.  I've been doing everything to avoid it for some reason.  I started knitting Pixie's sweater, I planted some cat grass seeds, I skimmed through You Grow, Girl before planting the seeds, I read some more from Animals in Translation, the book that convinced me to become a vegetarian in the summer of 2006 and planned some more on what I want my bare apartment to look like.  Jeez, a total spaz and waste of a night.  I'm sure I'll take up a lot of time writing this post just avoid going to sleep... :)

I was supposed to hang out with Steve tonight but due to a bad phone, I missed a bunch of texts and just called it a night on my own.  I accidentally dropped my phone into a glass of water (thank goodness it was just water) on Friday morning and it's been a bit dodgy since then.  Certain buttons don't work in certain menus, blah, blah, blah.  I took the battery out when it happened and Jacob put it in a bowl of uncooked rice to draw out the moisture but I think it took until tonight to fully dry out.

I have plans on turning every available sill of my apartment and porch into a mini jungle this spring and summer.  I need to start planning now since alot of the stuff I want to plant I grow from seed and I have to start two months or longer before the Zone 5 last frost date.  I always have high hopes but my plants usually turn out a bit stunted but it's kind of cool and empowering being able to harvest stubby little peppers to slice up and put in your ramen. :P

The decorating of my apartment is turning into an absolute bust.  I think I'm going to opt for a traditional Korean apartment which means no couch and opting for floor seating.  Even IKEA couldn't satisfy my need for cheap, European designed, Chinese produced furniwares. :(

When I moved into my apartment, I started seriously thinking about getting a dog.  I miss having one and helping take care of Pixie really makes me miss taking care of one.  I've been looking at dogs on Petfinder and I found one I liked.  I had to put an app in to even meet the dog so I'm hoping they contact me once the holiday is over.   The dog's name is Merlin and he's an Australian Cattle Dog and Corgi mix.  I love herding dogs and with my schedule, I'm home alot to take care of the needs of a slightly higher energy dog.  He was adorable and his profile made him seem like a very well adjusted dog.  

In the meantime, while I was in Milwaukee to see Jacob, we went to the Mke Humane Society and I met a great dog named Charlie.  He was an Australian Cattle dog mix and about 9 months old.  He was about 30 lbs-ish so he might get a little bigger.  We got to play with him and I absolutely fell in love.  He was attentive, energetic, food treat and toy motivated and in about two minutes, Jacob and I had taught him to lay down. (He already knew sit.)  He was playful and didn't mind being stroked on the head, alongside the back and down the butt and tail.  He seemed eager to please and not shy but not exuberantly boisterous and had indeed been tagged an  "orange" personality which means he can be high energy but also laid back and calm.

He really was perfect.

I got denied his adoption, however, because I have a cat.  I was and am pretty sad about it.  The adoption counselor insisted that Charlie was mouthy (which is true for herding breeds) and that having a cat was not a good idea.  

I absolutely agree that they need to send dogs to homes with all the right ingredients so they are set up to succeed and not fail.  However, because Charlie was only 9 months old, I really feel like introducing him into a home with a cat would take a bit of time with separation and gradual introduction but that it's absolutely doable.  He's more easily trainable due to the young age and being a herding dog and the other variable is that my cat is used to being with dogs because Pixie (miniature pinscher) is around a lot.  Besides, I used to have an Aussie and have experience with herding dogs and the kind of mental stimulation they need plus energy needs.   I talked to a few people and they suggested I plead my case to the humane society.

I checked the website and Charlie's picture was gone meaning he had been adopted already.  I was really happy for him but also really bummed.  Oh well, good for him.  :)  Maybe Merlin is still available and my having a cat won't be an issue. 




ah, chicago.

  • Nov. 26th, 2008 at 12:14 PM

Well, I'm finally back in the city.  I officially moved back on November 15th although most of my work supplies are still at my mom's.  My apartment is a bit on the hilarious side right now because I have a bed, a work table, and a cat.  Oh, and two chairs.  At least now I have the room to run cartwheels if I want to. :)

One of the joys of being back in the city is the ability to do things at night like watching the late showing of Let the Right One In.  I mean, forget about trying to see it in Gurnee, IL.

I had it in my mind that I would try to use public transportation as much as possible since I was back and I live in reasonable(?) distance from the Logan Square Blue Line stop but the late hour and the fact that the Diversey bus pretty much stops at midnight had me driving.  It was a straight shot down Diversey to Landmark and I actually found parking right in front of the B&N!  Really?!  

As it turns out, no one but Jason could make it to such a late showing.  The movie was good. I enjoyed it a lot and was reasonably able to watch all the suspense parts of the film without making too much noise.  I did have my hands to my face a few times in anticipation.

The movie had a different take on some familiar vampire traditions which I appreciated and after watching the film I realized that I am so.not.ready.for.winter.

Shameless Promotion

  • Aug. 21st, 2008 at 10:52 AM

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/lifestyle/explore/chi-sewing-class-0814aug14,0,7177051.story

Made it into the paper again! Yay!  And a metromix photographer came in last nigh to take some pics of my screen printing class for a "girls night out" story so we should be showing up soon again!  Yay free publicity!

It's really weird being referred to by my last name.  : )

Good news, everyone!

  • Mar. 3rd, 2008 at 6:51 PM

My divorce is official as of Friday, February 29th, 2008.  That's right, Leap Day.  I now only have to think about it every four years. : )

(And, oddly enough, my papers were filed on February 14th, Valentines Day.  What are the fucking odds of that?)

Excising

  • Jan. 24th, 2008 at 5:14 PM

 tomorrow, at this time, i'll be giving up dylan thomas.  i don't think i'll cry.

I'm in love...

  • Jan. 21st, 2008 at 2:46 AM

with my family.  Specifically, my cousins in TN whom I'm visiting this weekend.  In about fourteen hours I'll be back at home in Chicago, back where I don't have to eat bacon or any sort of meat product and back where there are plenty of Asians and other minorities but I will really miss them.

If, one day, I get remarried to someone I want to have children with and I actually have said children, I can only aspire to be as good a mother as my cousin Jeanette.

(sigh)

I'm in love with my family. 

imminency

  • Jan. 17th, 2008 at 8:21 AM

Is that a word?  I don't think so but guess what, everybody?  My divorce is imminent!  In three days, the required six month separation period will be over and a divorce will be forthcoming.  What a lovely thought! :)

(quite.) 

The Only Word For Love Is Everybody's Name

  • Dec. 31st, 2007 at 5:31 PM

coming up on the new year and i don't have any resolutions but i do know this:  i'm in love with my friends.  i'm in love with their tribulations and their accomplishments and they are beautiful.

Recovery

  • Dec. 30th, 2007 at 9:19 AM

http://users.livejournal.com/kimya_dawson_/2007/12/27/

Read it.  I defy you not to feel something.  But if you don't, that's okay, too.  It's just that I appreciate people who have struggled and have had heartache in their lives.  I really do. 

Besides, Kimya Dawson named her daughter Panda Delilah, and everyone knows I'll love anything named Panda. : )

Juno

  • Dec. 23rd, 2007 at 11:25 AM

My new favorite movie.  Everyone must watch it. 

Diablo Cody is a great writer and although I know no 16 yr old that talks like this, the dialogue is fantastic, fun, and unsettlingly truthful at times.

I won't go into details of the film since anyone can get that anywhere and probably more eloquently than I can articulate so I'll just say that Ellen Page is wonderful.  Michael Cera plays the awkward teenager like nobody's business and I only wish I had parents like Juno's.  I highly recommend this movie and have an open invitation out to everyone (sorry, people I actually know or have emailed with.  and live in the chicagoland area.  and are normal.):  if you don't have anyone to see this with and that's what's stopping you from watching it, I'll go with you. : )

No Repeats. Be Brave.

  • Dec. 21st, 2007 at 10:41 AM

"It is not inertia alone that is responsible for human relationships repeating themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and unrenewed. It is shyness before any sort of new and unforseeable experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope, but only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes nothing, not even the most enigmatical, will live the relation to another as something alive."---Rainer Maria Rilke 

Anniversaries

  • Dec. 19th, 2007 at 7:43 AM

As anniversaries go, yesterday's was pretty bad.  Last night I attended a dinner in memory of my aunt who killed herself in 2002.  Five years later, the dinner was a smaller, family affair with lots of kids running around.  I went because I love my aunt but it was kind of harsh.

I also got hit with the "when are you going to have a baby?" question.  I just LOVE that. 

Haircut - Day 9

  • Dec. 13th, 2007 at 4:13 PM

After spending $70 worth of hair care products including a straightening iron, I'm okay with my hair.  (It looks just like it did ten days ago.) 

I Don't Know You.

  • Dec. 10th, 2007 at 1:10 PM

"I don't know you.  The only thing I know about you is, you're reading this.  I don't know whether you're happy or not; I don't know whether you're young or not.  I sort of hope you're young and sad.  If you're old and happy, I can imagine that you'll maybe smile to yourself when you hear me going, He broke my heart.  You'll remember someone who broke your heart, and you'll think to yourself, Oh, yes, I can remember how that feels.  But you can't, you smug old git.  Oh, you might remember feeling sort of pleasantly sad.  You might remember listening to music and eating chocolates in your room, or walking along the Embankment on your own, wrapped up in a winter coat and feeling lonely and brave.  But can you remmeber how with every mouthful of food it felt like you were biting into your own stomach?  Can you remember the taste of red wine as it came back up and into the toilet bowl?  Can you remember dreaming every night that you were still together, that he was talking to you gently and touching you, so that every morning when you woke up you had to go through it all over again?  Can you remember carving his initials in your arm with a kitchen knife?  Can you remember standing too close to the edge of an Underground platform?  No?  Well, fucking shut up , then.  Stick your smile up your saggy old arse." - Nick Hornby, A Long Way Down

Haircut - Day 1

  • Dec. 5th, 2007 at 9:54 AM

It's not bad.  The haircut, I mean.  I went home and showered and took all the gunk out and let it air dry and it's actually kind of cute.  I can't put my hair back like I used to because I have BANGS now but it's alright.  :)  I can live with it and hold my head high at the holiday party on Friday.

Haircut

  • Dec. 4th, 2007 at 5:12 AM

I'm getting my hair cut tonight and I'm creeping myself out.  What if they mess it up and I look like a freak?  Argh.  Wish me luck.